With SA’s return home comes the inevitable presence once again of a live-in PA. Having a short break from this has given me to pause to identify that there are indeed still some things I can’t get used to.
I miss once again being able to sing or dance around the home without the paranoia that somewhere else in the house is a sniggering Eastern European wishing she had a big ‘X’ button she could press to make it stop.
Some things that have previously annoyed me I have become a bit more philosophical about. For example, if the PA doesn’t knock before they come in the bedroom, there’s always the chance that they will see me naked. It IS annoying, but the way I see it, if they want to risk subjecting themselves to that then that’s their look out. They won’t do it twice.
I miss nipping downstairs or across the landing in the buff without a thought, but you could say that I am inadvertently doing my bit to control the population – one fleeting glimpse of my deflated, stretch-marked boobs and puddingey belly would put any 20-something off childbearing permanently.
On the flip side of that, I may be unknowingly contributing to 20-something suicide rates by persuading them to entirely reject the ageing process.
I do actually have the utmost respect for a girl who would do this job for a living and do so in another woman’s territory. Them girls got balls.
With my periodic tendency to slam doors and my potent resting bitch-face I must be terrifying. In an effort to show my respect and counter my Maleficent-ness I spend a lot of time apologising and saying “excuse me” when I need to pass them on the stairs or in the hallway, or get them to move so I can get to MY kitchen sink.
And I say “good morning” a lot more than I used to.
Round about the time that I have taken to saying it all through gritted teeth is the time that we will have had the same PA for about 3 weeks and a changeover will be due. But the next PA to arrive won’t be the one that looks like Geoff Capes – for some reason that I cannot fathom, SA didn’t want her back?